Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
