Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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