no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
