what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
