I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
