think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
