dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
