i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize