Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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