Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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