what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
