I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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