you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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