I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
