I think I died a long time ago.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
