well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
