its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish you could order shots online.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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