i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
