just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
