we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
