can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
