I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
