she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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