It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
