Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
