IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
