and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize