you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
