Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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