Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
