Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
