STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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