She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
