belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
