Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize