Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
COCAINE IS GR8
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