five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize