The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
