Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
