South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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