so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
