I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
