hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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