i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
