don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
