i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
