why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
