You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
