If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
