i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
