Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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