They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
no you cant smoke seaweed
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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