im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
