when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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