I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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