This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
