Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
